Bowie - Final Thoughts

If you've been paying even the slightest attention to me you'll know that I have been a little bit obsessed with David Bowie for the greater part of this year.

I have no regrets about this. It was time well spent.

With this post I want to sum up my thoughts on Bowie and maybe finally let him

join the rest of my obsessions on his pedestal in my mind.

Why David Bowie? He's an intriguing person. His music is challenging. There is a lot of material to sift through. I explored my fascination with him a little bit already with a previous Bowie post. I remember hearing him on the radio when I was a kid, I loved Modern Love and Young Americans. I am, however, willing to admit that for a brief moment in time I thought Rebel Rebel was a Rolling Stones song (That was quickly sorted out when I took the time to learn more about the Stones, and frankly, I wasn't too far off the mark because Bowie took some inspiration from the Stones). 

But he was always there. On the radio, on TV commercials for Pepsi, his picture on T-shirts. Ever present. The world always had a Bowie in it (during my lifetime, anyway). But then, one day, he was gone.

After his death, I had to examine why it had hit me so hard. After all, he was a rock god who I had never seen live and had no hope of ever meeting in person. After waiting a couple years for the post-celebrity-death fervor to die down, I decided it was time to give in and dig through the life of this person I knew only in a superficial capacity.

Begin the Deep Dive.

So I collected resources. I am a true academic, always happy to chase down the truth, if it is there to find. Fortunately, the Universe gave me some assistance. The magazine stands this year had several Bowie tribute issues, which contained a good overview of his albums and career path. The interviews, the photos, the critics responses to his output was all devoured. I feel like I've watched just about every Bowie video clip on YouTube, some several times. There were many Google searches on whatever random question was buzzing around my brain on any given day. I discovered an absolutely amazing blog: https://bowiesongs.wordpress.com/

Of course, Bowie had some demons. He wasn't perfect. I don't really know what I was expecting to get from this exploration, but there were occasional items that shocked me a bit. After learning about everything he did (or was said to have done), I decided that he had more positive qualities than negative, and in the end was a greater force of good than bad. Even greatly talented people are still human. It's important to recognize that he had some cracks in his veneer, and that there was some dust in the corners. In the end, I believe he just wanted to be loved. 

I learned how he struggled for his career. It's tempting to place him in a bubble where everything he touched was golden and no mis-steps were ever made. This is wrong. The early years of his musical career were basically a bust. He made multiple attempts at a hit, and there are stories of how he had to hammer himself into a songwriter. "More ambition than talent" is a phrase that I ran across in more than one resource. Space Oddity gave him a break, but even then it was nearly a one-hit wonder until Ziggy Stardust crashed onto the scene and launched him into stardom. His then-wife Angie Bowie probably had a fair amount of influence on the Ziggy persona, so credit where credit is due. However, Bowie had to make him come alive. So alive he became and then he took off.

Before this year, I didn't know much about his movies (I had seen Labyrinth and The Hunger, and dimly recall renting The Linguini Incident while in college). After seeing more of his acting list, I have decided that some of his choices were better than others and some choices were made for different reasons. In one interview he mentions having done Just a Gigolo because he needed the money and to meet Marlene Dietrich (which he was disappointed to learn he wouldn't meet her and he would not be in the same room with her at any time during the filming).  I still believe him to be a capable actor, when in the right role. He was remarkable in The Elephant Man on Broadway, and his portrayal of Nikola Tesla in The Prestige was perfect. And, of course, his role as Thomas Jerome Newton in The Man Who Fell to Earth.

(see also: http://lawnchairantelope.blogspot.com/2018/08/loving-alien.html)

My Bowie music collection now nearly rivals my Dave Matthews Band music collection.

Bowie was a master at re-branding himself. His look changed constantly to keep up with trends or to set the trends for others to follow. I find myself most attracted to his Berlin years (1977-1979) and his mid to late 1990s. The Earthling/1. Outside years is one of my favorite Bowie eras. I love his edgy look, the music is exciting, and the imagery that he presents is visceral and almost unnerving (The Hearts Filthy Lesson). The Heathen and Reality albums are also among the top of my list. We get a softer Bowie, in a sense. One who is confronting his own mortality, while still maintaining his tendency to not take anything, including himself, too seriously. His happy songs are often tinged with a bit of sadness. The spot on the window you just can't rub away.

Bowie was a flawed individual. He nearly always put on a polished face while in interviews or interacting with the public, but he had demons. Drug addiction, alcoholism, women. He also believed some wacky things, especially while in Los Angeles circa 1975. His flirtation with the occult and fascist ideas stretched my tolerance level. Through all of that, he managed to maintain, if even just tenuously, some control over himself; whoever "himself" really was underneath the many layers. He was still able to work and to function, even when he was out of his head. That level of tenacity is amazing.

I love how he'd only occasionally try to set the record straight with regards to his mythology. Lies and half-truths added to his mystery, and he always an eye on what would look good in a magazine article or a headline. His reasoning for his early outlandishness is endearing though. He had admitted he was shy and by making outrageous claims he would be forced to speak up and defend himself, hence overcoming his shyness. According to interviews, this was also an impetus for his stage personas. It was easier to play a part than to be himself.

What better way to honor an icon than to permanently

etch that icon's symbols onto your arm?

It's only forever. Not long at all.

He wasn't afraid to do what he wanted (mostly). This is what I really admire most about David Bowie. He had his own ideas and even if it meant losing some of his audience he still went after what he envisioned. I take this to heart. There isn't really anyone that I am trying to impress (if I'm truly honest with myself) and I have ideas that I want to make real. Plenty of them are silly or impractical, but I want to see if I can make them come to life. Bowie is my muse to this end. 

So he was ambitious, flawed, tenacious, creative, extreme, and bold. He was also self-aware enough to pull himself out of paths that were certain to destroy him. He left the US to get over his cocaine addiction. He put together Tin Machine to recharge his creative battery. He finally gave up touring in 2004 to preserve his health and to give more of himself to his family. Blackstar was a final gift to his audience. He knew he was dying. But until the end he continued to do what he'd always done. It is a challenging album, in true Bowie style, and I've grown to appreciate its brilliance.

I still haven't covered everything he produced. It will take more time to get through everything. But by now, I have made my way through what I feel was some of his best and most influential stuff, and what interested me most. Eventually I will get through it all (or as much as I can get a hold of) and it's nice to leave some pages unread, so there is more left to discover later.

This still feels like an incomplete attempt to pin down a lot of stray thoughts and emotions from my Year With Bowie. As of today, though, it's the best I can do, and I'm finally ready to resurface and move on.

See ya round, Sailor. 💔