Obsession

Picking at a thread from the last post, let's talk about obsession.

No, not that obsession.

That thing when you get so besotted with a subject that your nearly every waking moment is consumed by that thing and you read all the books and watch all the videos and search for movies and articles and anything else that may relate to that precious subject.

If you're one of the few souls who read this blog you'll know that, at the moment, I am obsessed with David Bowie. The reasoning for this can be found in said previous post. (Please read previous post now. Or later. Or not at all. I really can't tell you what to do.)

Bowie is the latest subject, but these obsessive phases aren't new for me. I move from one subject to the next, throwing all my attention into that subject until, one day, seemingly, I wake up and am no longer interested. In no particular order, my give-me-every-drop-of-information-about-this-subject phases have covered the following topics (that I can remember):

Ballet

Dada/Surrealist art

Parrots/Birds

Margot Fonteyn

British beauty/fashion bloggers (see also inthefrow.com and her YouTube channel)

Running

Swimming

New Orleans

Relativity and quantum physics

Dave Matthews Band

Jazz

David Bowie

I'm probably forgetting several. A peek through my book and CD collections would probably reveal a few more.

The point is, I tend to completely exhaust a subject until I can't find anymore to take in, or I end up almost getting sick of the thing. It's almost like my attempt to work through a puzzle. I can't let the subject go until I feel that I've completely understood it. How does the thing or the idea or the person tick? What makes it so intriguing? So, it seems, I investigate the mystery away. 

I have vivid memories from high school when I would go to the local library to pore over the huge art books, or read through every available Kurt Vonnegut novel, or tried to track down where jazz and ballet came from, and working my way through Einstein's Relativity Theories (less the maths).

This whole idea has come to mind because I feel like I am reaching the wind-down for my Bowie Binge. After reading biographies, looking at photos, watching interviews, videos, and movies, reading articles, listening and absorbing albums and ideas, I finally feel like I have come to grips with who he was and why he is so interesting to me. Maybe I finally have enough in my head to chew on without contributing more for a while. Maybe it's now to the point where I can moderate new information about What Bowie Was. 

The initial massive intake is perhaps my way of creating a suitable base in my mind. David Bowie will now sit next to the other obsessions, on their pedestals, waiting to be lit up again by my passions, or when I learn something new about them. Each subject is ingested and infused into my personality. I certainly learn more about the world, but by digging into subjects, particularly people and their lives and passions, I learn more about the possibilities of what can be accomplished. I learn about history and my place in it. And steal a few good ideas while I'm at it.

Coming to the end of an obsession is sad. Like finishing a biography about a person I truly admire. That person, or idea, is being set free. They subside to the background and I feel a bit lost. Without something to constantly come back to, what will I do with my thoughts? The warm hug of the now Very Familiar is relaxed and I am again on my own in the cold world.

I suppose I'll just wait for the next thing to come around.