Keeping Tabs

 

Let's have another round of

"What's on my search tabs?"

1. Maria Schneider

Composer Maria Schneider is known for her contemporary jazz music.

I hope to catch her orchestra in concert at some point, but the last time she was

in the area, I was already busy.

She is Grammy nominated and Grammy awarded, and has been

actively composing since 1994 and has collaborated with

fine jazz musicians all over the world.

2. Prince's pants

Earlier this year I read a biography about Prince.

I vaguely remember his booty pants from the 1991 MTV VMAs.

Maybe I saw it on the news or something.

Anyway, when I got to that part of his timeline in the book, 

I had to look them up.

Turns out we never saw his bare cheeks.

The holes were flesh-toned fabric pieces.

🍑

3. Mel's Hole

A couple of years ago I listened to a recording of the Art Bell

broadcast of his interview with a man named Mel Waters who

had faxed him about a bottomless hole on his property in Washington state.

The 1997 broadcast is hysterically amusing and fun to listen to, even with all the

cornball callers who call in to the show, oblivious to who they are

listening to (or not listening to, as many of the callers don't seem to

be aware that Art is talking to a guest)

Anyway, Mel tells the tale of purchasing his rural property, the legends 

around the well-like hole, how a dead dog had been tossed in and was

later found walking around like a zombie.

Mel's first story is almost believable.

Almost.

Until he starts to talk about tossing appliances and tires and dead

cows into hole, and how he can't seem to find any trace of a bottom by

sending down reels of fishing line.

For some reason, he can't supply photos of this hole and just

as he is ending the interview, he tells Art that the military has

confiscated his property and is sending him away.

Basically, buying his silence, whether he goes willingly or not.

In a follow up years later, we learn, among other things about

impossible dimes and desert plant medicines, that Mel had been

rescuing wombats in Australia on the military money.

He had come back home, was beaten up for his impossible dimes (that

he also couldn't photograph) and all evidence of his wombat rescue is

erased. Somehow. A lot of this story is somehow.

In a final follow-up, we get another visit from Mel, who tells us

what happened after he came back to the States and lost all of this

money. He went to northern Nevada to live with the Basque people 

(who really exist, I checked that), where he discovered a second bottomless hole.

Imagine that.

Not just one bottomless hole.

But two!

And he can't provide evidence of either one, but tells a fantastic tale

of ice that is made hot by the Nevada hole and burns down a cabin, 

and a seal like creature that is excised from a sheep that was lowered 

down into the hole. The seal like creature communicates telepathically,

smells like ozone, and cures Mel's throat cancer.

After that we never hear from Mel again.

Land records show no record of Mel Waters owning property in Kittitas County

in Washington state.

4. Tubal Cain

In an episode of Newsradio, Stephen Root's character (Jim James) is told

to say a phrase to a judge to get himself off the hook while in a trial.

After acting as his own defense attorney, and not being at all successful,

he walks up to the bench, and quietly speaks to the judge.

"Tubal Cain"

The judge immediately rules in Jimmy's favor and closes the proceedings.

So, who, or what, is Tubal Cain?!

Tubal Cain is most likely a reference to one of the first blacksmiths, 

mentioned in the Bible and revered in the lore of the Freemasons.

Some people believe Freemasons are a cult that controls worldly affairs

behind the scenes. They are also believed to be magical, somehow.

Freemasons are not to be confused with the Illuminati.

Who is also believed to run the world from the shadows.

5. Call of the Void

While I was driving around the cliffs and mountain roads of Gila National

Forest I was reminded of a notion that is referred to as the Call of the Void.

The French all it l'appel du vide, and it refers to the urge that many people

feel when they look down from a high place. Astronauts out on spacewalks

have also reported this feeling.

The brief flash of a desire to hurl yourself off a bridge or not take that

sharp turn on the mountain road and yeet yourself into the valley below.

It's actually a common feeling, and is not an indication of suicidal tendencies.

Most people have no intention of acting on these urges.

We hear the call and after a moment, our higher brains take over

and we continue on our way through the mountains.